Sometimes it is easy to relate to the popular saying ‘when it rains, it pours’. There are many times in our lives when it seems like there are curve balls and heavy punches being thrown in our direction constantly. The easiest thing for us to do is to continue to get bogged down until the weight of multiple upsetting or traumatic experiences completely crushes us. But what if there was an eject button for you to press that could take you out of a mental crash landing? Sure, you never want to be in a situation that you must eject yourself from, but the point is that it is always there just in case. It may be difficult, but sometimes the best thing for you to do is pull yourself out of a bad situation and start over.
What is Starting Over?
Like the name implies, starting over means creating a new beginning, starting with a fresh take on things, beginning again from scratch. If you’re familiar with video games, when you start over (whether from the beginning or from a checkpoint), you are able to go through the course again but with the perspective of knowing what will happen if you do certain things. Basically, you have learned things that you would not have known had you not played before. In many ways, hardships are just large learning experiences. Starting over can be a way to break free from the heaviness of your past and step into a new, better-informed present.
Why Start Over?
Life, though remarkably unpredictable, is a series of highs and lows. Some days go exceptionally well, and others are a bit more taxing and dismal. But then there are periods in our lives that just seem completely dreadful and inescapable. While people may react to these periods in different ways, they are still upsetting times. Many associate the need for a restart with a tragic event (loss of a loved one, failed relationship, occupational disappointment, a life-changing illness or injury, etc.). For others, the need to start over may not be caused by an event, but more of a gradual realization (struggling to meet goals/resolutions, a change in mindset, etc.). Whether they know it or not, people could also want to start over because of multiple aspects in their life, positive and/or negative. Everyone has their specific reasons for wanting to start fresh in life. They have different ways of doing so as well.
How Do You Start Over?
As I mentioned before, everyone thinks differently, experiences different things in life, and no one processes anything in the exact same way. So, understanding how to start over may be more or less straight forward, or you may need a little help as you progress through your renaissance. Actually doing it, however, may seem a bit more daunting. Licensed Psychotherapist, Dr. Barton Goldsmith, from Psychology Today compares living life to climbing stairs, “You go up a level and then you level off. Nothing is ever a straight shot. Have some patience with yourself and with your newfound direction.” Though it may be a steady climb, the ascension is not typically direct.
Your mindset is possibly the most important aspect of this rejuvenation! If you go on this new journey with the same mindset as before, you are more likely to find yourself in the same position that you wanted to escape from. It brings to mind the popular quote, “Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it” (George Santayana, philosopher). Although it is usually used in a different context, it can still be applied here. You cannot simply forget what led you to start over even if it is painful because what led you to start over could easily be what drives you to never turn back.
The space you live in can often be associated with whatever event you went through that caused you to start this new journey. Michele Lian (self-care advocate and nutrition coach) from Thrive Global suggests cleaning your living space and designing a plan to eliminate any obstacles that may be in the way of your fresh start. Clearing your head and space preemptively is basically wiping the slate clean in a mental and physical way. A blank canvas of sorts.
Starting over will look different for everyone but, if done successfully, could lead to a brighter walk in life. There is no doubt that endings can be difficult, but they may also be necessary. Starting over is on your terms and at your pace, so the possibilities you face while walking in your new purpose are endless! If you feel that you may be interested in exploring this further, contact me. I am always happy to assist with your journey. I offer in-person appointments as well as HIPAA-compliant virtual options.
Sources:
https://theeverygirl.com/why-starting-over-can-be-the-best-thing-for-you/
https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-start-over-in-life-when-you-feel-stuck/
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